Women of OPPO - re: the Danielle Muscato tweet

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
10/03/2018 at 16:50 • Filed to: None

Motivated by the disgusting !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! left on Mrs. RiceRocketeer’s car, and by the recent flood of responses to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , I’m really interested to know: what percentage of guys that you come into contact with in your everyday life would you consider creepy or worth being fearful of? It’s sad/depressing/infuriating that enough guys are creeps that many women f eel the need to live their lives in fear and/or constant vigilance...

As a guy who’s not an asshole and would never treat any woman poorly (my dad, brothers, uncles were all good role models), #MeT00 has really opened my eyes to how many guys out there are assholes (or have been in the past)... I always knew there were some, and have witnessed rude behavior in the past, but with so many incidents that are coming to light and the fact that almost all women have some kind of story to tell about a guy who’s been an asshole to them (or worse), it’s hard not to feel like decent, respectful guys are the minority, even though I know this isn’t the truth.

DISCUSSION (22)

smobgirl > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2018 at 17:02

I’ve been stalked by an illegally armed alcoholic with a temper, so I’m always careful. I don’t mind talking to strangers and I don’t necessarily feel unsafe walking at night or doing things alone, but I do always make sure I’m in control of a situation and I’m very protective of where I live/work.

I just want to add, I’m not necessarily suspicious of all men, but I’ve definitely learned that it only takes one bad apple.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > smobgirl
10/03/2018 at 17:14

Thanks for the replay. I’m glad to hear that you don’t generally feel unsafe, and that you don’t view all men with suspicion. That’s a good point about remaining in control; I’m guessing as soon as you feel like you’re on the verge of losing that, you modify the situation as quickly as possible.

$kaycog > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2018 at 17:22

I’m fearful of none of them nor are any of them creepy. I’m very lucky/blessed.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2018 at 17:24

Unfortunately the number of creeps is not insignificant. I oversee a department that is mostly comprised of (young) women and male customers regularly say or do things to make them uncomfortable. Some men are just so starved for attention that they misinterpret any kind of non-negative interaction, from eye contact to a smile, as permission to make advances. I have on more than one occasion had to step in to relieve one of my staff just so they can get away from these guys.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > $kaycog
10/03/2018 at 17:29

I’m very thankful to hear that, $kay.

I hope this experience for my daughter’s life , but will prepare her to deal with the ugly parts of the world all the same.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/03/2018 at 17:32

Ugh...

Future next gen S2000 owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/03/2018 at 17:35

We should evolve into more peacock/peahen type mating. I fly my big colorful, shiny feathers when I am searching for a mate and she flashes hers if she is interested . Simple. No misunderstanding.

RPM esq. > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2018 at 18:10

That last paragraph is a nice way to put into words something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately too , and talking about with the women in my life — I always knew some men are shitty to women and that it is a real and unfair problem women experience , but #MeToo has been really eye-opening as to how many creeps and assholes there really are out there. I feel like I was pretty naive about the extent of the problem , which is not a thing I am used to feeling...and it makes me want to help, but I’m not sure what that looks like other than making sure the women and girls in my life know I have their backs.

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2018 at 18:13

If I were a woman? I would not leave the house without openly carrying an AK47.

Now think about that. Straight, white male saying that. The shit I regularly see and hear at a lot of the stuff I go to is just... it makes me retch. Call me a bleeding heart all you like, but describing someone as a “nice piece of ass” immediately followed by “I don’t care if I’m married, I’d still hit that” is fucking disgusting. And that’s far from the worst I’ve heard.

And because I am (quite happily) single and (by my own choice) don’t sleep around? I constantly have to deal with assholes - sometimes physically - pushing me to basically be disgusting to women or suggesting I should just assault them. Even jokingly that isn’t acceptable shit.

So of course, that leads to the shit where “so you must be gay!” Oh yes. Just ask my exes and their parents, especially the ones that literally walked in on my girlfriend and I having sex. Because being a homosexual is the only possible explanation for me not having any interest in fucking some random woman’s brains out instead of having an actual relationship.

Seriously. Two full mags and a third in the purse or handbag before even opening the door.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Future next gen S2000 owner
10/03/2018 at 18:47

This is basically the Bumble dating app.

Chuckles > RPM esq.
10/03/2018 at 20:34

I think that one way to help is to call out that shitty behavior when you see it. Don't let the men you know get away with that behavior.

smobgirl > RPM esq.
10/03/2018 at 21:15

That helps a lot, honestly. I was walking alone from a big event once and was harassed by a homeless guy who started following me. A group of guys I didn’t know played the “hey THERE you are, we thought we’d lost you!” card and walked a half block or so with me until homeless dude was out of sight. They expected nothing from me and it made escaping much easier.

smobgirl > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2018 at 21:24

I want to say it helps that I’ve done a lot of work in really sketchy areas (and found more hidden, occupied homeless camps than anyone ever wants to). Being worried about getting mugged over a 5-year-old, $100 digital camera keeps you alert and aware!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Future next gen S2000 owner
10/03/2018 at 23:38

I think that’s what the guy who left the note on the windshield was trying to do... She’s lucky he left a note and not pictures!

Future next gen S2000 owner > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/04/2018 at 10:06

It’s the for pics part that throws the note off. Leave those words off and it comes across okay, I think.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Future next gen S2000 owner
10/04/2018 at 10:22

Yeah, I agree. Nothing wrong with asking , “hey, can we talk?”

Stef Schrader > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/04/2018 at 11:35

I just kinda feel like I have my guard up all the time, and it’s tiring. Trust isn’t a given. It has to be earned.

I swear I’m gonna ragequit everything and move among the trees by the Nürburgring someday. Trees aren’t buttholes. (A lso, good cars. )

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Stef Schrader
10/04/2018 at 11:41

That sucks... I’m sorry to hear it.

I’m guessing you and Sabine would get along together really well. I’m sure they’re always looking for good part-time dishwashers at das Hotel am Tiergarten (I would take this job).

Textured Soy Protein > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/04/2018 at 11:55

One of the gyms I went to when I lived in Madison was this big open warehouse type space that did most of their business in classes and meal plans but I only used the equipment and I work out later in the evening. I’d often be the only person there and they were just the one location so they didn’t have a lot of staff. Usually i t’d just be one person at the desk and maybe one guy from the kitchen cleaning up, and me.

One girl who worked at the desk and I was friendly with would often say stuff like she was glad that I was around until they close because she felt safer. She was worried about this one weird dude who also worked out later in the evening, and/or some rando coming in off the not-busy-at-all street.

That said, I’m pretty sure the only difference between creeps and non-creeps is that the non-creeps may think creep thoughts but know better than to let them seep out past their inner monologue filter .

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein
10/04/2018 at 12:16

Yeah, that would be a pretty scary position. I had a high school friend killed early in the morning as she was opening up at the restaurant where she worked... It was a robbery, so not related to the fact that she was female, but still.

I’m not saying that I don’t notice attractive wome n, but that’s just human nature and an innate sexual drive that almost all men have . It’s very hard to control your thoughts, but you can control your eyes, mouth and actions, and that’s not too much to expect .

Honestly, a lot comes down to societal acceptance. If guys think that they can get away with some behavior with no real repercussions, there’s always some assholes that will say or do something that they know they shouldn’t. As it becomes less and less accepted behavior, and the potential consequences become greater, less will be willing to take the risk.

So, more cameras and more badass chicks like this one:

Stef Schrader > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/04/2018 at 13:58

They need anyone to make tacos? I’m good at tacos.

(Stayed there this summer. Good place.)

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Stef Schrader
10/04/2018 at 14:50

I think this is a great plan.

(So jealous!)